CSLThoughts #9 – Insecure S2E4 – Hella LA Recap

Note: The audio podcast is a condensed and slightly different version of the blog post. Also, it does not include the police incident.”

I’m Danielle and you’re listening to Thoughts Out Loud on FrizzyFro.com.

This is the Insecure season 2 episode 4 Hella LA recap. Also, don’t forget to also check out Insecuritea the official recap podcast hosted by Crissle and Fran.

I want to mention the Black Twitter condom saga. So, after another sex filled episode, Twitter started crying and whining about condoms again; so much so that Issa Rae took to twitter to show, with pictures, that they do place condoms on the set. But YOU PEOPLE came back with some of the most idiotic responses:

“But did he use them is the question”
“They not open”
“They was present, not necessarily used”
“But if there is no pause to put them on then it’s just condoms in the background”

These people do not deserve to watch MA rated tv shows. Negros really do need a college fund because a mind still is a terrible thing to waste.

Issa said they would do better next season, but I don’t want them to change a single thing regarding condom use.

Ok, Let’s get to it.

Issa and Kelli are at Molly’s apartment preparing to attend the Kiss-n-grind event.
The overall conversation was great Kelli has been drinking all afternoon waiting for Molly to get dressed, Molly and Issa share thoughts like twins where they have a complete conversation without using any descriptive words. There were some good lines, including the one about Felix being a cat, but I laughed out loud at Kelli saying, “No, but for real, we should go because they will actually give our table away.” as she grabs Molly’s wine out of her hands and pours it down the sink.

For all of you people thinking Lawrence lied about getting an apartment…
Lawrence is in **his** bathroom showering and rubbing his hair into curls with that hole-y sponge thing I’ve seen people use on YouTube. Chad is at the barbershop getting his hair cut/done/styled and calls to find out Lawrence’s status. Lawrence wants to bring fighting Gerald, but Chad is against that idea due to a previous Chipotle situation, which, according to Chad, supposedly has a low-key delicious tofu bowl. I am a barbacoa bowl kind of girl myself and I don’t do soy or tofu.

Chad is happily impressed that Lawrence wants to be social. Whatever this place is, is going to be filled with the fun and excitement drugs and alcohol supposedly bring. We should also note that soon to be married Chad is saying “what up, girl” to some unseen woman on the street.

Kelli, Molly, and Issa show up at the kiss and grind event and walk the longest mile to find their table waaaaay in the back. As they start to settle in, Dro walks up. Remember how last week I didn’t understand why we were meeting Dro and Candace? Well, that was the show’s awkward way of introducing new characters to us. I guess they are important. Shrug Anyway Dro (short for Alejandro per Issa Rae’s tweet) makes fun of their inexpensive table choice and calls them Destiny’s Child. Kelli takes offense and asks “Uh, who is Michelle?” In response, Dro’s face looked like Kelli asked him to solve a complex math problem in his head. With no immediate response from Dro, Kelli whispers to Issa, “It’s you.”

Dro mentions that Candace is at a meditation seminar. Molly says that she appreciates that Dro and Candace can just “do their own thing”. Dro mentions he has chicken tenders at his table, and that’s all Molly needed to hear. Molly leaves Issa and Kelli at their table as two stranger women walk up and try to sit down. Both Issa and Kelly shoo them away like cats you don’t want near your feet. One of the women says, “Your table sucks anyway.” Kelli has her hand to her chest in a true offended southern woman pose as if to say, “Do my ears deceive me? Are these peasants daring to disparage things they themselves do not have”?
My question is, if the table sucks so much, why were you trying to sit there?

Kelli has this thing for taking people’s drinks and doing with them as she sees fit. This time she takes Issa’s drink as she walks off to meet some men.

Issa is left standing there and spots Daniel across the room.

Lawrence is stuck in traffic because of a biking event that has the streets closed off.
He decides to make a U-turn and gets pulled over by the police. He immediately switches from rap music to a soft instrumental music station. He has both hands on the steering wheel at the appropriate 10 and 2 locations and prepares for the officer’s interrogation. “You in a rush? Is this your car? Where are you going?” The officer asks for his license and registration. Lawrence reaches in his back pocket and says, “Get my license”. As he pulls his out license, his bankcard falls out. He tries to put his wallet back when the other attending officer yells out “Put all your hands where my eyes can see. Straight buckwildin in the place to be” nah, just kidding. He yells, “keep your hands where I can see them” and has his hands on his pistol. The first officer comes back to give Lawrence a warning and crack jokes about their alma maters playing some sporting event; Lawrence’s Georgetown to the officer’s Villanova. I have been stopped by the police only once in my life. Well, technically it was twice but both happened on the same day just hours apart. I was not raised to fear the police and I had almost zero interaction with them growing up. And even in to adulthood I thought they were here to help people get kittens out of trees. I also want to mention that I have what’s called a “smart mouth”. Sarcasm and condescension also dwell deep in my spirit and appear when they think they are needed. So, I may or may not have been condescending to one of the police officers when he asked me obvious questions. Back to Lawrence. His experience and my experience are not the same, so I’m going to leave it at that.

I don’t know what this dollar sign, dollar sign, dollar sign, dollar sign song is, but it makes me involuntarily bounce.

Back at the kiss and grind, Issa asks Molly to guess who she just saw and Molly responds with, “Is it the girl who plays Ninny? Because I think she’s here.”
This is where audio fails me. I need emojis or video to display the intense side eye I am giving Molly right now. Distressed Issa tells her Daniel is present and does bodily harm to Molly when she looks around to find him. So, why does Issa think that she has to confront Daniel? WHY? Why can’t he stay on his dark side of the room and Issa stay on the other side of the dark room? Using my foolproof strategy, they could effectively ignore each other for the entire evening. Or, as I experienced this week when someone I know walked past me, pretend he is invisible. But you can’t be stone faced about it like the person who ignored me. That just let me know that I was seen and you were determined to ignore me. Your loss. Have a great life!

Issa claims that she has to be the adult and deal with this drama. I said out loud in response, “there’s no drama!” Like, he hasn’t even seen her and she’s talking about drama. It’s been months and she is talking about drama! This just proves that drama exists only in the mind that is imagining it. Sheesh.

Song Lyrics — “Shea butter twitter be callin’ her a queen’ – I don’t use shea butter, but I do have shea moisture. Someone needs to explain this shea butter twitter thing to me one of these days.

Issa walks over to Daniel’s area. Daniel is minding HIS OWN BUSINESS and she’s wants to talk to him. He has nothing to say to her and she manages to utter a string of words that aren’t really forming a coherent thought. Daniel is all like yeah, it happened months ago, so whatevs, homie. When he asks Issa if she’s good with the situation, she says she’s good and ends up singing the Living Single theme song. Girlie, this is why we have Twitter. Let me explain how this works: Open up a fresh tweet, add the microphone emoji, and then type out those lyrics. That’s it. You’re done. You DO NOT sing the lyrics in person simply because you are feeling uncomfortable. Don’t do that. Never do that.

Buuuut, here’s a thought: by singing the theme song she just let Daniel know that she broke up with her boyfriend and is unattached, so maybe singing awkward lyrics isn’t a bad idea after all. Let me add this to my strategy for the next time I am around a delicious looking black man.

Molly and Dro are sitting on a couch scouting out dudes for Molly to dance with. They spot one dude, but guess who is dancing with him? Kelli.

Lawrence is in the store trying to buy some Coronas and Maker’s Mark when he finds that his bankcard is missing. He doesn’t have a way to pay so the two conniving wenches in line behind him offer to pay the $46.92 for his liquor. “We’ve got it. No worries.” (I find that a lot of people living in sunny places like California and South Florida like to say “no worries”.)

One woman says, “Does he look like Craig to you?” I feel like that would be my first clue to thank them and run away, but not our Lawrence. He decides small talk is important and asks what they will be doing this evening. Let the coy games begin “oh, we aren’t doing anything. Just drinking wine and staying out of trouble. Too bad you have that thing to go to.” At the first hint that they wouldn’t mind spending time with him, Lawrence turns into Mariah Carey with the whole “I don’t know her” stance as it relates to hanging out with Chad.

Issa is sitting outside waiting for Felix to show up. He arrives and they awkwardly hug. Issa proceeds to call him “Folix” because of the typo in his dating profile. He says he didn’t recognize her because of her current hairstyle. She says she likes to switch it up and he’s all like “You ever switch it back?” That would have been the end of Folix for me. I am rude and would have promptly turned around and walked away. But not Issa; No, Issa stayed for more. Folix next criticizes her voice, and Issa decides to make an excuse instead of kicking him straight in his kneecap. In the end, Felix curbs Issa and walks away. Jerk.

But look at who witnesses the exchange: Dirty Daniel. He smirks and looks away.

Molly and Dro are hitting the dance floor and doing some sort of dance with words type of battle. And then…Molly turns around and presents her round mounds to him. Almost instantly the DJ switches it up and plays Juvenile’s Slow Motion and these two are dirty dancing in the darkness.

Molly starts to feel uncomfortable with the grinding and says they should stop because his wife wouldn’t approve. Dro then let’s her know that he and Candace are in an open marriage. They are supposedly allowed to be with other people. I do not believe anything men say, so I would have to hear it from his wife. But instead of saying that, Molly asks “since when?” and Dro says a year ago. Sooo, I would like to ask some follow up questions if you don’t mind: Who made this decision? Him or her? Is Candace really cool with this? Ok, let me focus. Dro is still talking and saying words trying to convince Molly that this open marriage works for him and his wife and blah blah blah. Molly looks highly skeptical, but yet she is still listening.
I have a low tolerance for nonsense and to me, what he is saying falls in to the nonsense category, so I would have been like “well, ok. I need to go back to my table now. Have a wonderful life letting whatever happens happens without me in the middle of it.”

Dumb Lawrence is sitting on the couch at wench island while one girl pours him a drink and the other rolls an L. Lawrence is texting Chad that he can’t make it because he thinks **one** of them is feeling him. One of them comes over, takes his phone, and takes a picture of them together as she licks his face. She proceeds to send the picture to Chad as evidence. Chad responds with a gif of a dancing man.

The licky face girl asks if he likes The Weeknd. Lawrence hesitates and then says yes and so she starts doing an arched back dance type of thing. She climbs on his lap and to Siri’s credit, she tried to block this from happening. She was like “SAY WHAT? I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.” It didn’t work though because the 2 of them start kissing and then the 3 of them are kissing and then Lawrence pulls back to see that the 2 of THEM are kissing. I feel like that winking face pillow on the chair is thinking, “I knew this was going to happen again.”

Issa is at kiss and grind sitting on the couch scrolling through tinder profiles when more random girls try to sit at their table. Kelli and Issa shoo them away as Molly walks up and tells them Dro hit on her. She asks the question, “Is anyone married like my parents anymore?” Issa mentions Derek and Tiffany. But they also mention that he stayed in a hotel for a year. Molly’s parents have probably also had challenges but she may not know about them. For all Molly knows, **her** parents could be in an open marriage and that’s why they have been together for so long.

Issa asks if Molly is considering getting with Dro. Molly says that it’s not an option because he is married. She saaaays it, but her expressions suggest otherwise. Mmhmm we will keep a close eye on you Miss Molly.

Lawrence is in the middle of a threesome with Sandra saying words I’m not willing to repeat. But in essence, she points out that his blackness feels good in her whiteness. And when she said it I looked at the screen like “excuse me?” And she continues to say porn-like phrases. Someone on twitter pointed out that she was also quoting some song lyrics. I wasn’t familiar with the song so I asked Google and the song is Novacane by Frank Ocean. Miko who has been sitting on his face decides she wants to have his blackness in her, too, but Lawrence is spent and cannot give her what she wants.

He tells them to give him a minute to recover. While he is recovering Sandra and Miko discuss the fact that they have been with a BUNCH of other black guys and Lawrence is like “a bunch?” The women decide that now would be the perfect time to reminisce over the crazy night they had with LaMarcus and how it would be great to order pad Thai using Postmates. But due to a possible surge charges because it’s Saturday, they decide that the place on the corner would be a better option and they could still make it to Michelle’s party. This entire conversation is happening while Lawrence is lying in the bed looking all kinds of incredulous.

The kiss and grind is winding down and Issa asks Molly if her profile picture looks like her. Molly said, “your face is your face, but you have the hair of another person.”

Kelli joins them and says that her guy (whose name she cannot remember so he christens him “Sweetie”) is going to Swingers and so are they.

As they are heading out, Molly sees Dro across they way. And for whatever reason, feels like she should engage him in conversation. rolls eyes She tells him she is going out to eat with Issa and Kelli and he says he will text her later. AND SHE SAYS ‘OK’. Whyyyyy?

They get to the restaurant and Kelli is being Kelli. Issa sits down and sees Daniel across the way. They silently acknowledge each other.

Lawrence is sitting in his car thinking thoughts about what he just experienced. Chad calls him to get details about the evening. He asks, “What is great? It was great, right?” and Lawrence lies and says that it was great.

Lawrence hangs up with Chad and looks out the car window. He is parked in front of The Dunes, Issa’s apartment. Aw maaaaannn! I was hoping to get though this episode without having to deal with either of their deep down feelings. I’M NOT GOING TO DO IT! I am going to let him drive off with his feelings and maybe we will revisit this next episode.

Back at the restaurant, Kelli asks Sweetie if he got anyone else’s number. He replies with, “ No! Once I saw you, baby, it was a fajita. That’s a wrap.” Molly and Issa are disgusted by these two and their shenanigans. Molly gets a text from Dro. He asks if she wants company. She tells him no, but not in a way that 100% shuts him down.

“So, if you were going to make me dinner, what would you…” Kelli stops talking and Sweetie is sitting there with a slight smile on his face. Issa has a mouth full of food and looks up because the words just abruptly stopped. Kelli is breathing hard and clears her throat. Issa is looking quite perplexed. She tries to get Molly’s attention, but can’t because Molly is learning about the seriousness of Lion King in this day and age. She makes eye contact with Daniel who texts her “Yo, Is your girl getting fingered under the table right now?” Kelli and Sweetie are muttering about a cheat day while trying to pretend like nothing is going on. Issa and Daniel chuckle. Molly watches as Issa takes her food over to Daniel’s table where the two of them are laughing as the episode ends.

As a note, I realize there are cameos in this episode that I did not mention.

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You can contact me by email at Danielle@frizzyfro.com or on Instagram and Twitter @FrizzyFroPod.

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